The tears you stop, the rest you bring,
My evening friend with your crystal glass.
My cobwebbed womb a withered thing,
The tears you stop, the rest you bring.
Through this time each woman does pass,
The small pink pill saves my ass.
The tears you stop, the rest you bring
My evening friend with your crystal glass
I hope this is a Triolet, it’s my attempt anyway.
innatejames
Sep 23, 2016 @ 17:25:29
I loved the meaning of the first sentence connecting to the effects of the pill. This is definitely a triolet, it just needs to be tweaked a little so that all the lines have the same number of syllables and the same meter.
LikeLike
oldendaysk
Sep 23, 2016 @ 23:13:33
Thanks Nathan. I just don’t really have the poetry gift, but I want to stretch myself as a writer. This piece was meant to be kind of funny yet a serious attempt at trying something new. If you would consider it, I’d love to see how it could be fixed. Thanks for your always thoughtful and constructive comments.
LikeLike